Hw #58- Parenting 102

Well, I wasn't in class for the guest speaker =\ I actually was very interested in hearing what he/she would have to say, so I guess I'll read other students blogs once it's posted to get filled in. If I can get a good idea of the points made, I'll add them in to this.

I feel like my "interview" with my mom I actually covered in parenting 101 part 1, but I'll synthesize what she said minus the self exposure lol:

-Breast Feeding is crucial for women who are healthy and can provide it. It has many benefits, not only a bonding experience, but also a natural choice. Baby formula seeks to imitate what women have naturally, and they still don't succeed. When a child is ready to add supplements to the milk diet, avoid pre mixed baby food. There are preservatives and pesticides that are not the healthiest. My mom opted to blend organic fruit into her own mixtures for both my sister & I. She even attributes a good relationship with food as starting here.

-She believed in speaking to us as adults, and telling the truth as oppose to making up stories. The benefit of this was that we knew we could count of her to be honest, and therefore we felt motivated to do the same with her. As I've said before, I don't lie to my mother about who I'm with, where I am or what I'm doing to this day, so I am inclined to think she's right.

-People often make the mistake of over-parenting and over-stimulating. My mom always says it takes a lot more work to screw a child up than to help a child flourish. While shopping for my cousin's baby shower last week, we had a discussion: When you walk into stores like Buy Buy Baby, it's extremely intimidating. It huge, with aisles and aisles of everything baby. As an expecting mom, just walking in the place must send you into panic. You become sold on the idea that you need all of these products in order for your child to grow and develop, when this is straight up FALSE. Children are born with all the developmental equipment they need, and they are born with the skills to learn. When instead of allowing this process to happen, you plop these manufactured distractions in front of them, it's actually hindering them from their natural ability, and if done repetitively, this can be permanent. A child needs person to person interaction and alone time to interact with their body, their thoughts, and the natural (pre-existing) environment around them.

Just like your child doesn't need breathing lessons when they leave the womb, it's important that parents trust that their child's development can come that naturally without prompting, forcing, or formal instruction. It actually builds the child's confidence when they are able to figure things out, and it's a good feeling to accomplish something. The kid wants to experience this over and over, so they will naturally keep absorbing and learning and discovering without exaggerated effort on the parents part.

The worst thing a parent can do is stifle the child's natural potential and spoon feed them material. The child won't be exercising their analytical skills to help them figure out the world around them, and they will probably grow tired and irritated with this boring, tedious and draining practice. As oppose to natural learning, forced learning will cause the child to feel poorly about themselves because they appear to not be meeting your expectations. This could lead them to be disillusioned with the idea of learning, all before school age. And as we learned in the previous unit, we can't exactly count on schools to reverse that, instead it'll probably increase resentment of institutionalized learning as well. And then you got a problem; a person who doesn't enjoy learning in school, or on their spare time. This type of person will be all too happy to simply get lost in their distractions, like TV. This type of person can also be easily convinced to consume. And then when they are pregnant, and are taking a stroll in Buy Buy baby....

Sold.

Hw #57- Parenting 101

Part I- Don't know where to start, Just a ramble of my experiences with parenting

There were many good parts to how I was parented, and I really think my mom had a wisdom to her parenting style with me. I'm her first child, and she had me at 23. Even though she was young, in a new country, and married to a man who she was just really discovering, I think she did an excellent job.

My mom believed in many things. One was breast feeding. My mom felt that since she was healthy and able to, she should. She felt very anti-formula, and she breast fed me until I was about a year and a half. Part of the reason she felt so strongly about breast feeding is because it's natural, and she extended this to my food beyond milk as well. She refused to buy pre mixed "baby food" mush, and opted to blend me her own mix of organic fruits, and fruit that my uncle would give us from his garden. She felt this was more natural, and eliminated the vast majority, if not all, of the pesticides and preservatives that are in pre-mixed baby foods. She did this because that's how my grandmother parented her, so it was kind of something passed down. She never read parenting guides because she felt they were just like fads; one day this was in, the next day that was in.

My mom was unemployed for the first 3 years of my life (not by necessarily by choice) and she spent all that time with me. She would put me in the sling and do all her errands with me. She would talk to me constantly, and share her feelings with me although technically I was too young to understand. One thing my mother always did was speak to me like an adult. When I was a toddler, and asked her questions, she would always be honest with me, and took her time to explain why something was the way it was, instead of making up stories. She also would read to me every day, and we'd go to the park whenever it was nice out. She'd put a record on (we had the old school player) and we'd dance together until we collapsed on the couch.

I didn't watch that much TV. It ranged from none to an hour a day. My mom never put a limit on it, but I would much rather be helping her cook and do laundry, because it was more time to talk and laugh, and emulate my mother. But I also liked to just play independently and get lost in my own world and thoughts. My mom thought it was important to just leave me alone, and respect my time. She considered it a big part of development, because a child shouldn't be bombarded with stimulation at all times, contrary to what American mainstream views show. When a child gets time to be alone and embrace solitude for a couple hours, they get the chance to develop as an individual and they get the time to think without being prompted, analyze what they see, and come to the discoveries themselves instead of always being told and taught by others.

We didn't have a lot of money, but I don't feel like I missed out on anything. Sure we weren't able to do some things, and we lived in a 1 room apartment, but honestly I still remember the warm feeling I had as a child. My mom made everything ok, and even when our hot water would get cut off and we'd have to boil water to fill the tub, it felt like an adventure.

Overall, I would say my mother's parenting style was being very open with me, making me feel safe and loved enough to do the same, and just letting me develop naturally. My mother always says that a child is born wanting to learn, inquisitive, curious, kind hearted and confident, and that it takes a lot to screw that up. She says unfortunately, that's exactly what many people do. She always believed that I would learn how to read naturally, and that I would naturally want to do what she could do when she read me stories. She didn't think I needed a "Baby Einstein" intervention. She was right. Just like with reading, my mom always let me move at my own pace, put no pressures on me to be or do anything, and always supported me.

Being that my sister was born when I was 11, we have a big age difference, and I feel like I have already explored my own parenting style a bit. Because my mother now works demanding hours, and my father is no longer at home with us, I have played a big role in raising my sister. Yes, this responsibility bumped school out of being my first priority, but I am so grateful to have a sister like her, and I thank God every day since she was born. She has often been the reason I've kept trudging forward, and for her I can and would do anything. When I have a bad day, or when I get down on myself, I remind myself of her face, and her smile, her laugh, and I know that the world in it's core is a wonderful place, even if due to cruel, sick people, there are many things wrong with it. I know that she needs me, more than anyone in this world, and so I have made a promise that I will be there.

The way that I "parent" her draws all the positives from my mother, but also I have more patience than my mother did. I don't get frustrated with her, or take anger out on her. I love to talk with her, and I can happily spend hours with her. She is so happy and full of life, that she really does energize me and heal me, as much as I help her, and support her.

Part II- Responding to texts

"When parenting theories backfire"- Hahaha....this article made me laugh. It seems kind of odd to me though that you would create a situation of there being 2 choices, without really having a legitimate reason. Why does it matter what color cup the child drinks out of? In fact, by creating a scenario where the child must pick between two different color cups, you are sending the message to your child that the color of the cup is important, and it matters which one they get. Then when the child starts to be selective about the color, you become frustrated, and the child is confused because they are getting mixed messages. So then they cry and scream, and flip the script. You can't blame them; it's really on the parents here to stop trying to manipulate and encourage mind games.

I think its best to simply give a child a cup you select. If they on their own request a specific one, I would check to see if it's clean and available, and give it to them to respect their preference. If it's not, I would explain that right now the cup is dirty and being washed, and we cannot drink from it. I would go on to explain to them about bacteria and germs- a concept that's new and interesting, and will help them to understand why they can't have it. I would be patient and answer all their questions, all the while they will be drinking from the available cup that I selected, without fuss, because they understand that your on their team, and are not challenging them, nor do they need to challenge you.

This whole choices strategy described in the article I feel is infective because it boils down to the fact that it intentionally enforces that you are the authority; you provide the 2 choices. In an adults mind, they believe they are fooling the child into thinking they have the authority, because they make the final selection between the two. But children are much more intelligent than that: they understand the message you are sending them, and want to exercise the power you are seemingly presenting them with, which is why they will reach for that third choice you didn't provide. They're like OK, if I'm really in control, how about I pick an option 3. Then, when your refusal to let them pursue option 3 is shown, you confirm that you where not really giving them power. This can even lead to a sense of general mistrust if conditioned over time, because you are sending them the message that even their own parents seek to manipulate them into control. As the child matures, if this pattern is consistent and begins to apply to matters more significant than the color of a sippy cup, the damage can run deeper because the child will no longer feel it's a safe place to express themselves, and they might begin to withhold themselves from you. Then you are left with teens who you don't really know, broken communication, and are begging to try to get through to them. So you do what seems "reasonable": impose stricter rules and shows of authority. By now this is like the old song and dance for them; they will resist and rebel and choose the "third option" so to speak, until adulthood when they will be able to hopefully understand your good intentions behind it all, and rebuild communication.

But why go down this path? Respect them from the get go, and don't get muddled in manipulative strategies. I believe it's not necessary, or beneficial, to enforce that you are the authority. When they are young, simply the more developed functionality that you have will demonstrate to them that you are capable of many things they have yet to learn. From this alone, they will respect your position, if you respect theirs (being of course that it's safe to them and those around them). On the flip side, don't let them feel authority over you either. Be firm when you have good reason, but always explain your thought process and answer their questions truthfully. Ideally, the parent-child relationship should just be a union of 2 near equals who love each other, respect each other, are honest, open, and straightforward. I honestly believe this will ensure a good foundation for a close relationship well beyond childhood years.

Hw #56- Interviews & Survey Questions

Part I- Questions:

-In what specific ways does the structure of your family mimic the structure of our society?

-As a child, did you have a fantasy of your romantic future? If so, what was the basic jist of it?

-Have you been disappointed with the actuality of romance? In what specific ways have your unmet expectations affected your relationships and your own reactions to your partner(s)?

-What does love mean for you? What qualities/role must your chosen partner fulfil?

-Have you ever been in love? How do you know; can you identify the qualities unique to romantic love?

-What would you say you get out of romantic love? In other words, why do you want it? When thinking about your future, does it play a big role, and if so, how?

-Do you want to create your own nuclear family? Why or why not? Or alternately, if you have already created one, why did you choose to do so, and what has your experience been? Would you change anything given what you know now? What advice do you have?

Part II- Interviews:

*Up soon

Part III- Analysis:

*Up soon

Part IV- Survey Question:

Do you feel like Disney movies and other such media have given you unrealistic expectations of love?

Hw #55- Independent Research

Part I-

I'm not sure yet which aspect of personal relationships I want to focus on, but based on the research I do/feedback I get I will choose one of them.

Regarding family:

What aspects of the nuclear family unit are essential and significant in sustaining society and economic stability? What specific repercussions, if any, would occur if the nuclear family no longer existed?

Regarding romantic relationships:

What are the primary reasons that cause a woman to fantasize and idealize marriage (picture herself as a Disney princess), when her male counter part who has been exposed to many of the same movies does not hold such a fantasy (doesn't see himself as a Disney prince)?

Can this difference in mentality, expectations, and approach to romantic relationships be the reason why divorce is so common? Is it possible that instead of inspiring happy unions, Disney has actually contributed to divorce rates?

Or

Is romantic love universal? In what ways does the definition/role of a romantic partner alter with culture? Is then what we experience as "true" romantic love authentic or conditioned?

Part II-

Carol,

I think your question is interesting; you assert that because different people require different things from us, we often develop multiple faces/ personas to satisfy each need as it arises. You then ask where that leaves the "real" us.

Hm, I'm not sure that there is very much of us that is pure, untouched and unmolded from family/friends/lovers/larger society. It is hard to know what is instinctive and what is a learned belief or practice. We embody identities that are chosen for us, and as young people growing up we are encouraged to fit into the parts of society and our families that need filling. We wear many hats; it is not a far fetched possibility that we all have a less exaggerated version of multiple personality disorder. This can't be too healthy. I imagine it's hard to keep up, and can put a strain on relationships if you mess up and carry the wrong side of your persona to the wrong person ("Your not the same person I met 6 months ago!!" Etc.). This could also happen if you decide that one "mask" suits you better than the rest.

Your question kind of ties into mine, which asks if Disney expectations of romantic relationships contribute to divorce. Seeing as we both focus on expectations, what do you think the root of the expectations you're focusing on are? It would be helpful to identify the source, and add it as an aspect in your analysis.

Looking at your revised question, one thing you could develop more is what specific type of relationships are you investigating? I believe narrowing it down to either family, friends or romantic would allow you to make the question more specific, and therefore have a stronger topic. Also think about the changing of personas; is this a conscious thing, or do you believe it occurs as an automatic routine that lies in the subconscious?

Good job so far!

Juliette,

I think you have a great topic. Almost everyone has something to say for why people cheat, and it often fuels debates. You give two theories for why you believe people stray; they have fallen in love with another person but don't want to tell their partner, and that they simply might feel entitled to "have" anyone they want.

While both of these theories might hold some truth, I would suggest narrowing your question down quite a bit so that through your research you are able to gain interesting insights. When you say "people", what demographic are you talking about? Is it men, or women? Is it someone who is married to the partner they cheat on, or not? Is it middle aged couples with kids, or teenagers? I think specifying the gender and age group is important because the reason why men cheat might be different then why women cheat, and the age group is key because at different stages in life, one might have different motives to cheat. In addition, married people might also have a different set of reasons that draw them to cheat, than an unmarried couple. You can even take into consideration economic status, which no doubt will have an effect on how available an affair is, as well as the reasons they choose to pursue one.

Looking at your analysis, one thing you could develop is extending your topic to how it ties into the larger picture. Maybe you could look into how children whose parents cheat are affected. Or maybe you could explore the idea of monogamy as whole; what causes us to want it and value it, and why is it important in sustaining a romance and family (or isn't, depending on your view).

Good job so far!

Part III-

What aspects of the nuclear family unit are essential and significant in sustaining society and economic stability? What specific repercussions, if any, would occur if the nuclear family no longer existed?

First Source:

Richard Eyre "True or false: Family is the basic unit of society". Deseret News (Salt Lake City). FindArticles.com. 16 May, 2010. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4188/is_20031214/ai_n11428182/

This Article examines the significance family holds in sustaining a society, and also approaches the topic of what would happen if this "basic unit" did not exist, in order to question if it really is so crucial after all. The article points out that communism attempted to make the commune the "basic unit" and use parents for creative purposes only, while the commune served to nurture the development of children. The article then goes on to analyze the effectiveness of this versus the traditional family. This article is helpful in identifying the specific areas where more research can be conducted to gain a solid understanding of societal dependence on the family.

Second source:

"Why is marriage important to society"

This article examines the historical importance of marriage & nuclear family on the economy. It explains that having a nuclear family allowed there to be stability in the agricultural society that existed. A regular workforce for the farm was grown at home; the family. This article is helpful in identifying the past significance of family on economic stability, and you would know what to look into next after reading this.

_________________________________________________________________

What are the primary reasons that cause a woman to fantasize and idealize marriage (picture herself as a Disney princess), when her male counter part who has been exposed to many of the same movies does not hold such a fantasy (doesn't see himself as a Disney prince)?

Can this difference in mentality, expectations, and approach to romantic relationships be the reason why divorce is so common? Is it possible that instead of inspiring happy unions, Disney has actually contributed to divorce rates?

First source:

"The ethical implications of fairy tales"

This article points out that in almost every Disney movie, one or both of the parents of the young woman is dead or absent, and she then goes on to seek and succeed in founding a proper nuclear family. The author also provides a theory for what Disney movies require of their princess' to be in order to find her prince: "Good + beautiful + passive + comatose + white or self-abnegating + long-suffering girl = handsome rich prince. The other alternative for females is to be active, aggressive, ugly, independent and tortured." This article is very useful in pointing out some critical patterns throughout all of the Disney movies.

"Dating: Unrealistic Expectations"

This article examines how the fantasy a girl creates in her head about her own Disney-like love story go from being innocent daydreams to big disappointments as she becomes a woman. The article describes how a woman is often left feeling disheartened with the world because love seemed so perfect as a child, but now that she has known heartbreak, has developed trust issues and insecurities that would seem foreign to the little girl who thought she could conquer the world. It's helpful in the sense that it makes the issue personal, and also it makes you wonder why something that will cause girls more grief and insecurity can be so promoted. Maybe it's because as long as they make us feel bad and insecure, we will consume their products to make us a better "princess", because surely that's the reason prince charming hasn't shown up yet....

________________________________________________________________

Is romantic love universal? In what ways does the definition/role of a romantic partner alter with culture? Is then what we experience as "true" romantic love authentic or conditioned?

First source:

"The Nature of Romantic Love"

This article is details extremely well the chemistry of attraction, human reproductive and divorce patterns, as well as cultural conditioning. It includes results to studies conducted from various standpoints including neurological, psychological and culture specific. It seeks to look at romantic love through all lenses. It's very helpful because it includes an extensive bibliography with links to more research conducted.

Second source:

"The best books critical of romantic love"

This is a list of 14 books that question if romantic love is "true" and universal. It includes a summary of each book, and topics discussed/points made within the book. At the bottom of the page it also provides links for one of the books which has several chapters available online. It is very very useful in terms of knowing which books target which arguments. From there a google search of the book/ author should give you more depth.

HW #54- Jung Test Results

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

The results of this test I felt were accurate. It was useful to see the percentage of each category. My breakdown was:

Introverted (54.55%) vs Extroverted (45.45%)

Intuitive (55.17%) vs Sensing (44.83%)

Feeling (71.43%) vs Thinking (28.57%)

Perceiving (51.61%) vs Judging (48.39%)

It's funny that the difference between my feeling side and my thinking side is such a landslide. Every one who knows me well will tell you this is very true. I'm known to all my family and friends as being "soft". I get very sentimental, and to be honest I am extremely sensitive. When others around me are sad, I literally absorb their sadness. Even as a 5 year old, I would sometimes catch crying spells from other people, even when I had personally been happy just a little while before. Also when watching a movie or hearing a story that touches me, I can't stop thinking about it for days. I become so involved, and I feel the emotions like they happened to me. This is going to sound "lame" to some people, but when I was sick on Friday, I came across Brokeback Mountain on TV. It's one of my favorites, so I watched it. By the end I was crying like a baby, and continued a full 20 min after the movie ended. While other people tear up, I'm going full speed. I used to be embarrassed/shy admitting this, but I can't change who I am. Another movie that gets me in this way is The Changeling. When Carol & I saw it we were both reduced to tears several times (haha I blew your spot carol =p).

In a case of a debate/ conflict, all someone has to do to win me over to that side is the emotional aspect. I respond to pathos above anything. I know people who are not close to me probably do not see this side of me, but to be honest its the main side of me. The truth is I am very guarded and private, and I'd like to keep myself, well, to myself. Of course to the people I'm close to, I open up. But otherwise, I don't. So when I interact with others on a superficial level, I keep it as just that. I try to just be a generic person. I may even come across as cold, sarcastic, and a load of other things which I definitely can't identify with. My dad especially complains that I am a very cold person, and that no one around me would know I cared. My extended family who I am not close to, often warns that when I get in a relationship, even if he is the perfect guy I would not show any affection. That kind of worries me that they think this, because it couldn't be further from what I feel inside. It's something I've struggled with my whole life; how do I show/ express to others the depth of what I'm actually feeling? I feel like with a few people I have gotten to that point, but I want to know how is it possible to be this way with everyone? To give them a sense of how I am, yet not reveal too much. I guess this is the problem.

I guess this would also qualify me as introverted, like the test says. I really do need my alone time. I actually like spending time by myself. It gives me the chance to listen to what I want and what I'm feeling. It's not uncommon for me to just spend hours thinking. About me, about other people, about life in general. I'm not saying my thoughts are profound; I'm definitely no genius. But I sure do have a lot of them. Recently insomnia has been running my life. When I lay down around 12, I don't fall asleep until 2 or 3. I'm not necessarily stressed, I'm just thinking. Since I'm so busy during the day, the night is my time for me. I kind of divide it between thinking and sleeping, which causes me to be extra tired. But I can't deny myself that time or else I'd probably go crazy. On the other hand, when I am done being alone, I am done. I want to be around people, or else I get really lonely, to the point where it creeps me out.

Hm, now to intuitive. Well I'd like to think that I am. I have kinda have this knowing of who to trust and who not to trust. Who I would be friends with, and for how long, even from the first time I meet them. I also know what problems a potential relationship will have, and I kind of know how far it will go, or if it's right for me. So far, the answer has been no on all counts (sigh), so I haven't bothered to enter something for the short term that's all wrong for me anyway. But I know people far more intuitive than myself, so I don't feel all special. For example, my mother's best friend is super intuitive. That woman is amazing with what she can get from people. I swear it verges on psychic. She met my cousin when she was engaged to this guy Steve, and she told us that they would never get married, but that she would meet another man within a year, marry, and have a child with him. But that they would divorce. Low and behold, the engagement with Steve broke off, she met Dimitri 3 months later, he proposed a few months after that, they are now married, and she is pregnant. They are also having major problems. Who really would have been able to say all of that?

As for perceiving vs. judging, I must say I'm a little disappointed the numbers where so close. I consider myself to be very open minded, and my knee jerk reaction would be to say I generally reserve judgment. But if I am to be honest, I would say that yes, I am open minded, but I also uphold myself and others to certain moral standards. To me doing the "right thing" is everything. This can even be in simple things like if someone gives you too much money by accident, you give them back the excess. It really truly disturbs me when someone would be greedy enough not to. I guess in this sense I am judgmental, because after a person does one or two things I deem not right, it does change my perception of them. This is NOT to say that there haven't been times where I haven't disappointed myself, or that I don't have so much more to learn, fix, and resolve about myself. I don't think that ever ends; perfection is unattainable, but it is important to keep developing nonetheless. What I am trying to say is that in my core, I believe I am a good person, and I really do allow my moral compass to guide me (corny, corny, but true).

I guess this test has been helpful in getting me to identify key aspects of who I am. It affirms my belief about certain things such as career path, and life goals. It also makes me question certain things, like how I can conquer my fears, and how I can be more transparent when it comes to my interaction with others...

Right now, I am safely opaque.

Because it's not on the news here.

This is Sparta? No, this is anarchy

Please, if you have 5 min watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPuu_IMAfQI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-1V8B95Kwk

HW # 53- Survey Analysis

Part I-

Yes, I chose to take the survey.

Part II-

Taking the survey was relatively easy for me, I did not surprise myself with how I "really" felt or answered. There where several questions that stood out, one being "You understand the adult in your household as a person". For me, the adult in my household is my mother, and I am lucky to have a very good relationship with her. I tell her everything, and she does likewise. We are super busy during the week, but on the weekends, usually Sunday night, we start talking at around 10 pm and can go on till 1 or 2 am. I genuinely enjoy talking to her, both sharing my own life, and listening to hers. I am grateful that my mom and I have such a close relationship, because I know many teens do not have one. Many teens feel the need to lie to their parents about what they are doing, where they are and who they are with. I have never lied to my mother about any of those things. I tell her the truth, and this is a big reason why she trusts me. In turn, she also tell me the truth about everything. Also, we have our fun moments too, when we just laugh so much we cry. My sister is very close to both me and my mom as well, so we have our little unit of 3. No matter what drama happens in the surrounding family, or what stress life may bring, we have each other and that's what matters.

Part III-

Overall, the results paint a picture of a much better family dynamic that what I had expected. Based on the in-class survey and discussions, I was expecting to see more "shocking" results. Instead, the answers are tame, and do not show anything spectacular, but nothing horrible either. What stuck out to me was, for all the complaining that people do, 55% of them answered that they have never wished to be part of another family. To me what this shows is that when it comes down to it, people really love their families. It doesn't matter how much they complain or how much they claim to "hate" their parents, there is still that deeply rooted love, followed by loyalty; even if it's shit, it's our shit.

Another thing that stood out is that 33% said that they sometimes do stupid things they don't enjoy in order to fit in. I have a hard time understanding this. So you want to fit in with people you deem stupid? It makes no sense to me, I would rather be the outcast in a stupid crowd. I think people need to have a better sense of self worth, so that they don't seek the validation from peers in dumb ways like doing drugs, drinking, having unwise sex, and molding themselves into someone else. There is nothing about being drunk or high that you should be proud of, honestly the people who brag about it look stupid and sloppy. Anyone can get drunk and throw up in a toilet. But not everyone can have good character. It takes ongoing work to be the best person you can be, and that is something to have pride in. In this world, there is only one thing that no one can ever take from you, and that is your name; your reputation. Based on this, you will attract certain types of people, and situations into your life. So choose it wisely.

Part IV-

The survey I read said that 20% of high schoolers in the US have smoked a cigarette within the past 30 days. This number sounds pretty low, it's not as overwhelming as I thought it would be. Then again, the United States does not have a big smoking culture like that of other countries. I think though that this number would be higher if the survey took place at SOF. Going and coming back from lunch, as well as after school, there are several clusters of students practicing the "cool pose" with a cigarette oh-so-nonchalantly lit up, resting in the corner of their mouth. I find it interesting that they display it like this, so that everyone knows just who the smokers are. Growing up with my dad smoking a pack a day definitely drew me to it, I'm not gonna lie. Unlike others, I love the smell of a cigarette, not how "cool" you look smoking it. I don't mind walking behind a smoker in the street, because I get to inhale a little bit. Or when hanging out with smoking family/friends, I enjoy it even more. But I have never actually smoked a cigarette myself. And I will try to keep it this way (until I'm old at least, then to the hell with it, I don't got a life ahead of me).

HW #52-Human Relationships

"Relationships". This category is so broad, that it is intimidating. Where do I start? Probably the first relationship a person develops is with his/her parents (or caregivers). This relationship is one that for better or for worse, shapes who a person becomes. Also, any other members of the household like siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents and so on have an impact of the family dynamic. As a child, you learn to follow their example, and take that point of view into school. As you advance in school, you begin to have relationships with teachers and other classmates, and your point of view begins to morph.

It is every persons goal when entering school not only to learn, but to make friends. To be accepted, and to accept back. To be understood, and to understand. But then comes the issue of perception, how one is seen to the masses. Weather we admit it or not, we care to at least a small degree how people perceive us. If we are perceived well, we feel good. If we are perceived badly, we feel poorly about ourselves. And for a select few, if they are able to slide under the radar, are actually relieved and content.

This sets up a principal conflict; quantity vs. quality. When we have a large quantity of friends, we feel that we are heard more. That more people hear, and more people react to our stories, jokes and other calls to attention. But is that true? It has been my experience that when in a large group of people, people use the time a person takes to express themselves to think about what they are going to say once the person is done, convinced that their story/sharing is more interesting anyway. Personally, I am the type of person with a small group of close friends, and I like it that way. I have confidence that each person I am close with today, I will remain close with. Its not because we like the same music. Or because we have the same taste. I really believe it's not the "identity" I'm friends with, but the person.

Each of my friends I share something with. I have 10 friends that I talk to on a regular basis, but only 6 are close ones, a distinction that is a very big one to me. My close friends are people I know I will be lifelong friends with. The others are more circumstantial.

In Greek school I met my best friends. Being Greek but growing up in America is quite a different experience. Especially since all of our parents are immigrants. That makes us first generation Greek. Therefore, we knew nothing of American way of socializing and friendship making. I was brought up with Greek customs, and a different style of communication and person to person interaction. Pair this with my lack of English skills, I really can say I had the immigrant experience myself. In Greek school, I finally found kids who were like me. Kids that I could express myself in the phrases that came most naturally, and laugh at the inside jokes that are culture specific. Nick, Stavros and Katherine just got me in a way that no one else could have, and I have an 11, 9, and 7 year friendship with them respectively. It's been the 4 of us for more than 7 years now, and we have a real friendship, one that goes way deeper than just culture now.

During middle school in SOF, I floated around, not really having a solid group of friends. But I became friends with Juliette, and as you probably know if your reading this, we are still close to this day. We have been friends for 6 years already.

Entering high school, I met Carol. We were paired together for a project in french class, and also sat together in gym because of our last names. We are both shy when meeting new people, so it took a while for us to start really talking. As time went on, we discovered we had a lot in common.

Around 10th grade, we blended into one group: me, Carol, Juliette. That's how it was for over a year, until Moe first sat next to me junior year. We started talking, discovered we took the same train, and started taking it home together. Conversation flowed naturally, and so we ended up becoming good friends. I invited him to lunch with us, and him and Carol also became good friends. A little later in the summer, Juliette also became close with him. Now its been the 4 of us for a year, and I know it's corny and expected, but I do think we will remain close after high school.

One thing I have noticed in all my close friendships is that we have never gotten into a fight. I have never had a fight with any one of these 6 people, and there has been no drama. Considering the lengh of these friendships, I think that's a pretty good thing. To me this is essential, because friendship is supposed to be peaceful, and based on mutual understanding. The gossip, backstabbing and things of this nature have no place between two people who call each other friends, and to see exactly that going on in school just makes me even more glad I'm not in that group.

In terms of romantic relationships, I really don't have experience there so I can't speak to that. But, I will say that the relationships that exist amongst my age group are for the most part not something to envy. I'd rather wait until I find something with true value rather than throwing myself into a relationship simply because I have the chance to.

HW #49- Class Film

A. Personal contribution-

My class didn't have a film up, so I watched "The Teacher" instead. I had no contribution in this film.

B. Analysis of the Message and Tone-

The message of the film seemed to be that teachers are not saviors. In the film, the teacher had his own personal issues with alcoholism. This problem was fairly obvious, however the students seemed oblivious to this as they were each wrapped up in their own little dramas. These students are not an extraordinary case; they are the typical urban city class. Towards the end of the short film, the teacher becomes fed up with the students babbling away nonsense, and perhaps with the help of a little liquid courage, begins to tear away at their carefully crafted yet casually presented facade. At first, the students fall to silence, and listen to the teachers insights on why they will not succeed in dominant society if they continue doing what they're doing (which presumes that he has apparently "succeeded", despite the heavy alcohol consumption). After a brief pause of digestion, the students seem to unanimously conclude that nothing important was said, and return to their daily routine.

C. Contrast the Film with Savior/Teacher Films-

I think this film was far more realistic, if more depressing than the savior/teacher genre of films. Both started with the same setup- an unruly classroom of unmotivated students. And both had that breakthrough moment of the teacher giving a wake up call. However, instead of succeeding to get through to them as in the savior films, this teacher was not successful, and the students where not responsive. I feel this is much more representative of the true state of most schools.

D. Connection between Salvation/Education-

Most of the films that we've watched this unit, and even the class film "The Teacher" portrays students receiving an education that will hopefully bring them salvation- help them rise above their current conditions and learn the basic skills of navigating society. In some of these films, the students were saved, and in others, they were not, which was portrayed as catastrophic. But films like "the teacher" raise a very important question- what happens when the students don't want to be saved? Like the line goes, there's no one you can save that can't be saved. Are some people just unsave-able?

Extra Credit- "The Class"

After watching "The class", I found it to be much more realistic than the other films we have watched under the "teacher/savior" genre. The film allows you to see the teacher as a human being, one far from perfect, yet one who does seem to care about his students. One thing to be noticed is how the film displays the different perspectives of the participants- the teachers, the students, the parents, and the administrator. In many scenes, we see these different perspectives clashing, and trying to be resolved. It seems that the students are primarily concerned with fairness, calling out Mr. Marin on several occasions, some as simple as doing what he requests his students to do, like writing their names down. The teachers seem to be primarily concerned with discipline, and it's interesting to see this debated at the staff gatherings. Each of the teachers represents a different "typical" teacher- Mr. Marin is the one who secretly cares more about his students than he allows to be seen in the classroom, and defends them to the other teachers. There is also the lax teacher who believes that by enforcing disciplinary action they are doing a disservice to the students. And there are others who are traditional disciplinarians who believe that no matter what the student's personal case might be, they should be punished with a set, standard set of consequences, disregarding what these actions might cause the student to face at home.

As I considered what might be an idealistic resolution to the conflicts that occur in the school, ones that seem to draw on the cultural differences and diversity of students, I realized how hard it is to be in that position. I thought about how they "resolved" the problem in Souleymane's case, expelling him. I didn't feel like this was the right thing to do; like Karl pointed out, everyone has reached their limit at one point or another. And it was never his intention to hurt the girl, even she herself was willing to recognize that it was an accident and forgive him. I feel like this solution would lead Souleymane no were, and certainly not anywhere better. I found it interesting, however, that as soon as Souleymane left, suddenly everyone in the class was getting along, there were no more side conflicts and bickering, and Mr. Marin was even welcome to play soccer with them at recess. This new tone seemed to spring out of nowhere, and I found it corny. Removing the "trouble maker" was all it took, then the entire system suddenly worked? Please. But the last shot, with the chairs knocked over and in disarray redeemed it though because it symbolized that the problems were not really fixed.

I don't think the teacher is to blame for Souleymane's fate, but rather the system as a whole. As the teachers themselves acknowledged, there were plenty of signs along the way, yet none of them were resolved, allowing the problems to escalate, and then suddenly "wiping" him out. Granted, he did take some part in his own damage, but I think that at the age of 14 or 15, around 70% of behavior and conflict resolution is a reflection of what occurs in the individual's home. Adolescence is a tricky age, because one has to shift from behaviors and ideas that are learned, into questioning their own ideas, and begin drawing from outside sources, so that they can develop a set of ideas and behaviors that they choose to adhere by in adulthood.

The classroom setting in the movie definitely reminded me of SOF. I feel like I've definitely sat through classes like the ones shown. One thing we can learn from this movie is maybe empathy- I know a lot of teachers as well as students fail to consider how their actions impact others. We should think before we act, and maybe learn about a person before judging, as school administrators are fond of doing. Decisions made blindly based on standard's can do a lot of damage to a young person's life. Only with real, full knowledge of a situation, can a just, effective, and beneficial decision be made.

HW #48- Treatment for savior/ teacher movie

In a small, private high school, a young girl named Anna is falling apart. Both her mom and her teachers are not sure what to do about it. Anna is currently a junior in high school. Over the past 7 months, she has not completed a single homework assignment in any of her classes. Even though her school is not one that gives out grades, this is unanimously deemed as unacceptable. Her teachers wrote a collective complaint, and called her mother in.

Her mother, a woman in her late 40's, has a good job in finance, and considers herself to have done a decent job raising her, considering the circumstances. She has no idea what went wrong, or when. She looks at her daughter and sees a young woman who's face mirrors her own. Yet she wears an expression that sends chills down her spine. It's one she doesn't recognize, and that scares her. She remembers Anna as a child. Now looking into Anna's eyes, they appear bottomless, the sparkling excitement long gone. Anna wears a black turtle neck, with black jeans. Her mother studies her. Anna had always been slim, but in the past year she had steadily been gaining weight. She was now around 170 pounds, overweight. Her doctor had a discussion with her, but she shrugged it off. When her mother brought it up, Anna had a fit. She said numbers weren't important, and she liked food. She told her, who are you to judge you fat cow. I look just like you, every bit of ugliness I got from you, she had said. In retrospect, Anna's mother almost missed those days. At least she talked.

The teachers walk in, and greet Anna and her mother. They explain Anna's predicament, and tears come to her mothers eyes. Anna's own expression is blank. She chews her gum at a steady pace. Her eyes dart around a few times, but seem to settle on the painting on the wall. She seems particularly absorbed. Soon her mother is pulling on her sweater. She looks up, breaking concentration. She gets up and they walk to the car. Her mother is silent most of the drive. She parks outside their suburban house. She glances at Anna and all of a sudden feels an unexpected surge of rage taking over her. How could she not care? Who had she become? And what would become of her? Her hands trembling, she smacked her across her face. Anna looked up, eyes searching, confused. Her mouth widened and for a second, the face of the young girl who scraped her knee learning to ride her bike came alive. However, her face quickly returned to its cold demeanor. Fuck you, she spat, and ran towards the house. Her mother turned off the engine, and buried her face on the steering wheel, sobbing.

Inside, her 9 year old brother Jonah was playing with his legos. He loved to build things, to create. Despite herself, she smiled. He ran to her, and jumped into her arms. She gave him a quick kiss, then said she had to go. With one last glance of her beautiful brother, the only person she was consciously aware of loving, she climbed up the stairs. She locked herself in her room, and took out her paintbrushes and canvas from under the bed. She was halfway done, and she liked how it was coming out. She worked straight through midnight, diligently bringing it to life. A knock on her door made her jolt. WAIT she shouted and she quickly shoved everything back out of sight under the bed. Ok, she said, come in. Anna's mother opened the door, revealing her exhausted face. Her eyes seemed to sag, and her shoulders curved downwards, her body melting into the floor. It's 1 am, what are you doing, she demanded in nothing more than a whisper. Nothing, Anna responded, her eyes glazed over.

Anna's mother sighed. Is it drugs? Is it a boy? Are you pregnant? Alcohol? I saw on Oprah that young people are taking prescription medications, is that it? The denials came quickly. No, she answered to all, never elaborating or adding more. What then? Help me understand. What do you even do for hours in your room? You just sit here, is that it? Anna shrugged. You have a problem Anna, this is not normal! As her mother grew more frantic, Anna grew more silent. She was good at waiting out the storm. But as her mother reached hysterics, she decided to speak.

Mom? I'm hungry, she said.

The next morning, as the sun streamed through Anna's window, causing her eyes to flutter open, her mother was already over her. Anna, she announced, your going to therapy. Anna felt her heart speeding up. Was she so lost? Was she a bad person? Would she go to hell? She felt the tears welling up. If she went to hell, she thought, she would never see her daddy again, because he promised he'd be waiting for her in heaven. She couldn't go to hell. Seeing her tears, her mother explained that there was no other choice. Anna didn't speak all morning.

Once in the therapist's office, a young woman more suited to be a model than a receptionist gave Anna a form to fill out. Flashing a commercial white smile and batting her obviously glued-on false lashes, she told Anna whenever she was ready, the therapist was ready to see her. Anna looked at the form, and felt disappointed, because she didn't know any of the answers. Her cheeks seemed to burn as she flipped over to the back, and saw more questions she couldn't answer. Ah, but one....Worthless. That's what she knew. It was the only answer she had. She apologized silently in her head for not being more, but she wrote worthless under the question describe yourself. She nervously shuffled into the office marked Dr. Goldhammer. Dr. Goldhammer got up and greeted her. She took Anna's form and looked it over. She was direct. Anna, why are you worthless? Anna shrugged. In her head, she recited the reasons.

She was stupid. Her teachers never said so, but she was better at reading faces than texts, and she saw it etched in their expressions every time they handed back a blank quiz, demanded for homework she didn't do, and called on her for answers she didn't have.

She was not attractive. Though not ugly, she had let herself go. Boys were never interested in her, and she was all but invisible to her male peers. She thought back to when she was 6 years old, and remembered her father saying Anna, you are beautiful. Your going to be quite the heart breaker! I'll have to scare away all the boys, and laughing his wonderful laugh, the one were his eyes twinkled. And she had been beautiful as a child. But she had not blossomed into a heartbreaker, and her dad wasn't here, and she did a good job of scaring everyone away all on her own.

Put bluntly, she was a disappointment. She wasn't good enough for anyone. Undesirable. Unneeded. Unsuccessful. Incapable. Even though her mother believed her to be removed from life, she was extremely observant, and saw the sadness in her mother's eyes, sadness that she had caused. This is why she couldn't let their eyes meet. She knew if she could sense it from her peripheral vision, the pain of a straight on gaze would be searing.

She had alienated the friends she used to have. They couldn't understand her, and after a while, they stopped trying. She guessed it wasn't their fault, but it taught her to be as silent as she had become. This way no one would try to begin with.

The only person who never changed the way they saw her was Jonah. She loved him for it, even though she knew the only reason was youthful oblivion. Once he would reach his teen years, she was sure he too would see her for what everyone else saw her to be. This thought never failed to raise a lump in her throat. She didn't know what she would do the day that he came home, and looked at her with the same pity, frustration, and dismay that everyone else did.

Realizing she had been lost in her thoughts for several minutes, she looked up, remembering she was in Dr. Goldhammer's office. To her surprise, Dr. Goldhammer had not interrupted the silence. She had not repeated the question, or try to prompt her to respond. She simply held a steady gaze. Anna realized she was about to cry, something she had not done in years. As the tears exploded and seemed to come faster than her body could handle, Dr. Goldhammer nodded, and ever the realist, handed her a tissue. After her crying trailed off from sheer exhaustion, Anna couldn't help but marvel at the patience of this strange woman. Not once had she spoken. Just as she thought that, Dr. Goldhammer told her that their time was up, and thanked her for feeling comfortable enough to let the tears out. As Anna stood to leave, Dr. Goldhammer opened her arms for Anna to hug. I don't like hugs, Anna said, truthfully enough, but surprised herself by smiling a little. Dr. Goldhammer smiled, a smile that engaged her entire face, and said well all right then.

Anna's mother stood up anxiously in the waiting room. How'd it go, she asked, glancing from Anna to Dr. Goldhammer. Dr. Goldhammer responded. Anna is a wonderful young woman, with more strength than one can know. I'll see her next week I assume. Anna was shocked. Why was this stranger being so nice to her? Why did someone who just met her seem to know her better than those who tried for years? She resisted it, but she felt herself liking her. Anna's mother looked as shocked as Anna felt. She stammered, and agreed to bring her the following week.

At home, Anna thought about her father. She was glad she knew where he was. She crept into her brothers room and picked up the children's bible he used to read to her when she was young. She had not read a book in over 3 years, but reading this one came to her with ease. As she read the pages designed to help kids cope with death, she came across a page with he words what happens if a child dies? Do they go to heaven? she read the passage, and it assured that all children go to heaven. She sighed. If only she was a child. As she placed the book back in Jonah's room, she paused, watching him sleep. Her spirit soared.

Before she knew what she was doing, she had poured a cup of water and was shaking Jonah to wake him. As he squinted and slowly sat up, she smiled and said hey. He asked what was going on, and she asked him if he missed daddy. His lip began to tremble, and she knew he did. Rubbing his back, she told him she could fix it, she could send him to daddy. Jonah looked at the cup in Anna's hands which was now filled with multi-colored liquid. He said if I drink that it will send me to daddy? Yes, Anna replied. She knew he father would be so happy to see Jonah, and maybe if she could get him to heaven, she would be good again, and she could go to heaven too. Jonah took the cup out of her hands and began drinking.

Note: This is based on a true story. While on the train, I overheard two women having a conversation, and one started to share the story of her daughter Anna, and her son (who I named Jonah). The real Anna does attend a private school, hasn't done a single assignment in 7 months, and is overweight. She did try to kill her brother. I don't know how; the way I wrote it was fabricated, along with the rest of the details. Anna's mother said that now Anna is not allowed to have any contact with her brother, because she is a threat. Anna's mother discovered a finished painting under her bed. It showed Anna's father in heaven, holding Anna in one hand, and her brother in the other.

I know that school doesn't seem to play a big role in this story, but the meeting her teachers had with her mother was the event that her mother started with, so it must have been a pivotal point when the story began to unravel. I guess I would see that as the savior gone bad; I'm sure they all had good intentions but with some cases, it's not as black and white as it may appear.

Journaling about school

I can remember one time when I was feeling sick, and I knew I had a fever. I told the teacher I was sure I had a fever, and asked her to take my temperature and call my mother to pick me up. The teacher accused me of making it up, to get out of circle time. I challenged her again to check my temperature to see who was right, but she refused. This is when I had it. I stormed into the principals office and told him the situation. He told me to go back and join the group. This pushed me over the edge, so I climbed up his file cabinet, and jumped down, his face as my landing target. My feet happened to land right on his mouth, knocking out his front teeth. He was forced to call my mother at this point. When she came in, they told her I needed phyciatric counseling because I showed signs of being "aggressive and unstable". My mother was furious because she saw the reason behind my actions, and took my side. She knew that even though I was a "just a child", I knew my body and I should be respected and listened to. Of course, she told me that violence shouldn't be the answer, but she did laugh and say I sure figured out a way to get them to contact her.

Initial Internet Research on Schooling

Source 1-

"The meaning of education"

A. This article outlines different perspectives on the purpose or reason why people get educated. It starts by presenting the ancient Greek idea of education, and talks about Socrates' belief of education. In addition, it includes several quotes from different more modern day people. The most interesting part perhaps is the table towards the bottom, which shows the skills learned in school, and then relates them to a fundamental skill or societal function that must be preformed and mastered in order to sustain the society.

B. This article is a basic, easy read, and can prove to be useful for the background history of school (Socrates) as well as for the table, which makes it easy to relate tasks in school to "real" life or society outside the school institution.

Source 2-

"Beliefs about the purpose of education" -

A. This article also outlines the reasons we attend school, however this one provides what they propose to be the "true reason"so it is not objective like the last one. This one focuses on Bill Beattie, who claims that education is a tool that teaches us how to think, but not what to think. This is near impossible in my opinion, because by teaching one a method of thinking, they are also instilling in them certain belief systems, that will undoubtedly affect what the student comes to think and believe. Thoughts are a slippery slope, because it is hard to tell which ones are yours and which have been taught to you so many times that it seems to have become you.

B. This article is useful because it provides an idealized view of what modern day schooling is supposed to provide. It can help you see the flaws in the system and begin to question some of the outlined goals.

School Interviews

Part A:

Interview 1- Self

The basics-

Age: 17

Ethnicity: Greek

Education: Current High School senior

Q: Briefly describe your school experiences. Why are you currently pursuing a high school diploma?

A: I started school not speaking English. Being scolded by people in a language that I didn't understand intimidated me and I hated school as a result. When I finally learned English, I was a perpetual "trouble maker" and I always stood up for myself and defied the teachers. After transferring schools, I began to love school, because I was in a positive school environment. I went from "trouble maker/future juvenile delinquent" to top scoring goody too shoes. I remained a straight A student all the way up to 10th grade because I enjoyed the things we were learning, I never missed assignments, and I felt respected. Then in 11th grade, I came in contact with 2 teachers that I consider to have been bad ones. I really hated their classes, and I was too preoccupied with issues in my personal life to chase after them and squeeze information out of them; so I failed both of their classes. But I learned an important lesson through this, and it brought back my personality of being ok with defying authority and vouching for myself, which I had lost over time as a result of being such a "good" student. In the end I am glad this happened because now I'm not afraid of people who try to intimidate me anymore, or use their "authority" to try to make me feel poorly about myself. Granted, other events in my life have lead to this too, but this was one factor.

The reason I am perusing a high school diploma is because it never occurred to me not to. I think that it's not even an option, it's needed if you want to progress and have options in life, because in this day and age a high school diploma is just the bare minimum. I'm looking forward to college though, my schedule will be different and allow me to spend the necessary time studying, and also I will feel better about the environment than I do now.

Q: Why are we in school so long? Is it a waste of our youth?

I often think we shouldn't be in school so long. I mean, for several years we learn the same history, math & science over and over again. It's ridiculous. But then again, I think what if people were allowed to only have 9 years of school before attending college? The sad part is I don't think most people would be mature enough to handle that. Maybe school really is like daycare; it institutionalizes young people until we have reached emotional maturity.

Q: What would an alternative to school look like to you? Why?

I think an alternative to school would allow us to have more say in what we study, and not be in a confined building. I also think the vast majority of homework should be eliminated, because it makes students resent learning, instead of being eager to learn.

Q: Do you believe that there should be a basic set of knowledge that everyone should know?

I do think there should be a basic set of knowledge. I think elementary math is crucial, and the ability to read and write is also crucial. From there on out, I think it should be up to the student what they learn.

Q: Think of the institution of school as a way to shape our society. What "shape" do you believe they are trying to create?

People who are obedient, "civilized" and trained to obey orders. And people who do not ask a lot of questions. The less we question, the easier it is for those in control to bend us into the different societal roles they need fulfilled. Essentially, the school system is a systematic way to determine what kind of societal role you can potentially fill, and then make sure you do so, even if it's not one that is desirable to you.

Q: Do you believe school provides freedom, or traps youth?

I think it does both. Let's not kid ourselves, without any education there is very little that you can do, and unfortunately, people will not want to give you opportunities in life. This is obviously not freedom, because then you are a slave to your lack of education. So in this way, getting an education can defiantly open doors for you. However, it traps you in the sense that school is always trying to determine where you fit, and if you fit somewhere you don't want to, then it's simply too bad, because everyone will view you as such.

Q: How does school fit into your life? What are some things that you get to do, or not get to do that you feel are related to how long you were in school?

School takes up a lot of my time, just being there everyday. I haven't really experienced things that I get to do or not get to do because of my education level, since I'm still in school.

Interview 2- Christothea (mom)

The basics-

Age: 41

Ethnicity: Greek

Education: Undergrad degree Polytechnic University of Athens, Grad degree Columbia University

Q: Briefly describe your school experiences. Why did you persue a college degree in both Greece and the United States?

A: Because in my country you could only be a lawyer, a doctor, or an engineer to have an decent job and reputation. And out of those I liked engineering. Also, it was considered the most difficult school to get into, so enjoyed that too. In order to get in you have to take a very competitive test,and only the top scoring students were accepted. I scored the highest in the country that year, so I was in all the newspapers as the number 1 student for engineering. It made my family proud. And so it made me happy. I am very lucky also that I happen to really like what I studied, so working hard was fine by me. And since I entered college early, when I was 16, I graduated at 20, coming in as the top student in the university. I got engaged right after, and next thing you know was moving to US with my fiancee visa. I applied to Columbia University, because it was the best in New York City, ivy league school, and everyone back home knows it by name. It was the only school I applied to, and I was accepted. I did my masters in just a year, I worked so hard, and I graduated at the top of my class again. At first I did not see any of my work pay off, and I would spend many nights crying, stressed. But now I see it has paid off. I have a job I love, and I have many offers always for other jobs, so I am excited that I have a good career- very different from just a job.

Q: Why are we in school so long? Is it a waste of our youth?

A: Yes. I think the right thing would have been nine to 10 years the most. I'm bored of seeing you do the same things year after year. I think it's a waste of time. It seems like some things they want drilled in your head, enough is enough. I think school can defiantly be condensed and still be effective. Or do how it is in other countries, and move on already. When one concept is learned, keep progressing, instead of repetition.

Q: What would an alternative to school look like to you? Why?

A: I think visits in libraries, museums, work sites, nature, and it would be flexible in schedule. And getting rid of homework that is not needed. Why are you in school for 8 hours if its not to learn the material? If this is not enough time then God help us. I understand the idea behind it, but in practice it's not working. It's abused, not handled correctly. And so it becomes negative effect.

Q: Do you believe that there should be a basic set of knowledge that everyone should know?

A: Yes, there is a basic set. To read and write. To do functional math. To know the countries on a map. And to follow with what happens in the world.

Q: Think of the institution of school as a way to shape our society. What "shape" do you believe they are trying to create?

A: One where people know to follow instructions, and one that has less tolerance for free thinking. This is because many times work performance is based on standardized skills that have no representation of individualism. So it becomes unnecessary in the running of society. No one needs to be an individual. When something is not needed, it has tendency to go away. This I believe is the goal. To eliminate the unnecessary: individual personality.

Q: Do you believe school provides freedom, or traps youth?

A: It is organized in a way that forms a trap. But to not have it is worst. I suggest everyone tries the best to get it; the best way to free yourself from a system you don't want is from inside.

Q: How does school fit into your life? What are some things that you get to do, or not get to do that you feel are related to how long you were in school?

A: I get to do the first few things we learned in elementary school. And what I learned in college. Only these two help me in life, everything in between was not as relevant. In terms of level of eduction, being a graduate of polytechnic and Columbia university is a big help, people have respect immediately in a job setting.

Q: Comparing the US system to the system you were schooled in, what are the major differences? What impact does this lead to?

A: The Greek system is very strict, has high performance standards, separates citizens into the intelligent and the nobodies. Either you are highly educated or not educated at all. Once you are in, you go and are associated with the best, for those though who don't make it, that's it. Your opportunity is gone. This is the only benefit of the US system, they give chances many times.

Interview 3- Ioannis (dad)

The basics-

Age: 56

Ethnicity: Greek

Education: Incomplete elementary school (3rd grade)

Q: Briefly describe your school experiences. Why didn't you finish elementary school?

A: My family needed me to work, so when I was 8 I began to work as an apprentice to a shoemaker. Education was not a consideration, and back then in Greece it wasn't required.

Q: Why are we in school so long? Is it a waste of our youth?

A: No. it's the most important thing. That shapes up your whole life.

Q: What would an alternative to school look like to you? Why?

A: You can go into specilazed trade. You become a better person, when your educated. Its not only job but lifesyle choices.

Q: Do you believe that there should be a basic set of knowledge that everyone should know? If so, why does it seem that certain necessities go obsolete?

A: It is important, because they explore your understanding and your mind.

Q: Think of the institution of school as a way to shape our society. What "shape" do you believe they are trying to create?

A: The better people you have the better country. You live longer, healthier, happier.

Q: Do you believe school provides freedom, or traps youth into a systematic control system to fulfil all the societal characters?

a: It's supposed to liberate you. How much you understand.

Q: How does school fit into your life? What are some things that you get to do, or not get to do that you feel are related to how long you were in school?

A: Just about everything. Eduction makes you.

Q: Comparing the US system to the system you were schooled in, what are the major differences? What impact does this lead to?

a: Over there, even if you have the capacity to learn you can not. Its like luck. Here its better.