It is every persons goal when entering school not only to learn, but to make friends. To be accepted, and to accept back. To be understood, and to understand. But then comes the issue of perception, how one is seen to the masses. Weather we admit it or not, we care to at least a small degree how people perceive us. If we are perceived well, we feel good. If we are perceived badly, we feel poorly about ourselves. And for a select few, if they are able to slide under the radar, are actually relieved and content.
During middle school in SOF, I floated around, not really having a solid group of friends. But I became friends with Juliette, and as you probably know if your reading this, we are still close to this day. We have been friends for 6 years already.
Entering high school, I met Carol. We were paired together for a project in french class, and also sat together in gym because of our last names. We are both shy when meeting new people, so it took a while for us to start really talking. As time went on, we discovered we had a lot in common.
Around 10th grade, we blended into one group: me, Carol, Juliette. That's how it was for over a year, until Moe first sat next to me junior year. We started talking, discovered we took the same train, and started taking it home together. Conversation flowed naturally, and so we ended up becoming good friends. I invited him to lunch with us, and him and Carol also became good friends. A little later in the summer, Juliette also became close with him. Now its been the 4 of us for a year, and I know it's corny and expected, but I do think we will remain close after high school.
This sets up a principal conflict; quantity vs. quality. When we have a large quantity of friends, we feel that we are heard more. That more people hear, and more people react to our stories, jokes and other calls to attention. But is that true? It has been my experience that when in a large group of people, people use the time a person takes to express themselves to think about what they are going to say once the person is done, convinced that their story/sharing is more interesting anyway. Personally, I am the type of person with a small group of close friends, and I like it that way. I have confidence that each person I am close with today, I will remain close with. Its not because we like the same music. Or because we have the same taste. I really believe it's not the "identity" I'm friends with, but the person.
Each of my friends I share something with. I have 10 friends that I talk to on a regular basis, but only 6 are close ones, a distinction that is a very big one to me. My close friends are people I know I will be lifelong friends with. The others are more circumstantial.
In Greek school I met my best friends. Being Greek but growing up in America is quite a different experience. Especially since all of our parents are immigrants. That makes us first generation Greek. Therefore, we knew nothing of American way of socializing and friendship making. I was brought up with Greek customs, and a different style of communication and person to person interaction. Pair this with my lack of English skills, I really can say I had the immigrant experience myself. In Greek school, I finally found kids who were like me. Kids that I could express myself in the phrases that came most naturally, and laugh at the inside jokes that are culture specific. Nick, Stavros and Katherine just got me in a way that no one else could have, and I have an 11, 9, and 7 year friendship with them respectively. It's been the 4 of us for more than 7 years now, and we have a real friendship, one that goes way deeper than just culture now.
Each of my friends I share something with. I have 10 friends that I talk to on a regular basis, but only 6 are close ones, a distinction that is a very big one to me. My close friends are people I know I will be lifelong friends with. The others are more circumstantial.
In Greek school I met my best friends. Being Greek but growing up in America is quite a different experience. Especially since all of our parents are immigrants. That makes us first generation Greek. Therefore, we knew nothing of American way of socializing and friendship making. I was brought up with Greek customs, and a different style of communication and person to person interaction. Pair this with my lack of English skills, I really can say I had the immigrant experience myself. In Greek school, I finally found kids who were like me. Kids that I could express myself in the phrases that came most naturally, and laugh at the inside jokes that are culture specific. Nick, Stavros and Katherine just got me in a way that no one else could have, and I have an 11, 9, and 7 year friendship with them respectively. It's been the 4 of us for more than 7 years now, and we have a real friendship, one that goes way deeper than just culture now.
During middle school in SOF, I floated around, not really having a solid group of friends. But I became friends with Juliette, and as you probably know if your reading this, we are still close to this day. We have been friends for 6 years already.
Entering high school, I met Carol. We were paired together for a project in french class, and also sat together in gym because of our last names. We are both shy when meeting new people, so it took a while for us to start really talking. As time went on, we discovered we had a lot in common.
Around 10th grade, we blended into one group: me, Carol, Juliette. That's how it was for over a year, until Moe first sat next to me junior year. We started talking, discovered we took the same train, and started taking it home together. Conversation flowed naturally, and so we ended up becoming good friends. I invited him to lunch with us, and him and Carol also became good friends. A little later in the summer, Juliette also became close with him. Now its been the 4 of us for a year, and I know it's corny and expected, but I do think we will remain close after high school.
One thing I have noticed in all my close friendships is that we have never gotten into a fight. I have never had a fight with any one of these 6 people, and there has been no drama. Considering the lengh of these friendships, I think that's a pretty good thing. To me this is essential, because friendship is supposed to be peaceful, and based on mutual understanding. The gossip, backstabbing and things of this nature have no place between two people who call each other friends, and to see exactly that going on in school just makes me even more glad I'm not in that group.
In terms of romantic relationships, I really don't have experience there so I can't speak to that. But, I will say that the relationships that exist amongst my age group are for the most part not something to envy. I'd rather wait until I find something with true value rather than throwing myself into a relationship simply because I have the chance to.
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